Previous English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to completely absorb that at the minute," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness progresses.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I handle situations uniquely, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he added.
Early Indications
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain able to doing anything and everything. And with luck that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a year and over half within 730 days of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started removing the tears off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the focus was being in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so militantly directed on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the primary choice I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those periods back."
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Top-level sportspeople are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the incidence of the condition is up to sixfold elevated than in the broader public.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen accessible and creating injury to neural pathways, consistent, vigorous exercise can activate the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his brave, relentless style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a practice gear and started throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial phase of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of care and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a wonderful community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to consider your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so extended a time with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will wish to help in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
